I enjoy hurting girls. I love the response it gets from them - the gasps, the crying, the begging… and the power of the orgasms that follow. But not all pain is the same pain and different subs will react to different pain in very different ways.
For instance, the sudden thwack of slapping someone across the face feels very different to the steady, building, ache of placing them in an uncomfortable position and having them remain there for a long period of time. An angry punch is very different to slowly running the edge of a knife over naked skin. A flogger and a cane feel entirely different if you use them with the same strength. And there’s a whole world of difference between a cane to the sole of the foot than to one across the buttocks.
A Dom must learn these things and learn how to use them appropriately. subs may well have particular emotional associations with particular acts. I’ve had subs that take a slap across the face as sexy, exciting, foreplay that gets them entirely revved up. But others for whom a slap across the face is always an admonishment - it will upset them immensely and frequently reduce them to tears as they feel the hot shame of ‘having done something wrong’.
I’ve heard subs discuss the relative merits of ‘stingy pain’ as opposed to ‘deep pain’; of the heavy thump of a large flogger as opposed to the multiple scratches and burns of a cat. Context can change physical experiences greatly - telling a girl that she’s doing very well and you’re proud of her whilst you deliver a lengthy beating will help her to relax and flow into the physical sensation so that she can get deeper into pleasure and further away from pain. Telling her that she’s failed you and you are going to punish her because she’s let you down and is worthless will almost certainly mean that the exact same beating - same implements, same location, same strength of hits - will be agony for her, she will take not an ounce of pleasure for it, and will suffer to a terrible degree.
If you’re going to hurt someone you must know what you’re doing - must understand the basics of physics and physiology (the shock waves from a cane travel deep into tissue, so used on the lower back it can damage kidneys - a flogger distributes its force across the surface so is much less likely to do internal damage). You must get to know the sub. You must get to know how your words, emotions and subtle actions can have a profound effect on the sub who is traveling somewhere very deep into sensation. What you do with this knowledge - well, that’s up to you, and very much depends on what you get off on and what kind of experience you wish your sub to have. But you have to know.
Nope; Los Angeles, California. This is the third ask I’ve gotten about this, where are you all getting Vegas from?
I’m a cruel man. Most of the things I’ll do to you won’t be pleasant, you won’t enjoy them. But you’ll accept them, because it’s me doing them. Because I’ve got just the right mix of arrogance and charm to make you think that you deserve them, that I have a right to do these things.
I’ll target those parts of you that feel the most, that are so easily used and abused. Wear you raw, and you’ll wear that rawness with a pride that shows that you were chosen, rather than anyone else. That attention, cruel as it may be, has its own worth, or so you think. You’ll let me do all these things. You’ll enjoy them.
Because I do have the right to do them. I do do these things because you’ll enjoy them, because they give you pleasure. If they didn’t there’d hardly be any fun in the act. We’re cyclical things, me and you. One feeds off the other feeds off the other feeds off the other. Around and around we go.
My cruelty, though? That doesn’t go around. That just goes down. Onto you. Revel in it.
His Lordship likes to slap a girl round the face. He tends to do it when I least expect it, then wonders why I flinch so often when he lifts his hand to stroke my hair or cup my cheek.
Every time he does it, he gets the same reaction: shocked indignation, then an outraged grin when I ask him why he did it. I think he takes the smile as encouragement. I should really try to fix that.
It’s just a reflex response. Like when you were little and a teacher told you off at school, and you found yourself trying not to laugh, even though you knew that the smiling was getting you deeper into trouble.
Honestly. I don’t like it even a little bit.
"At what moment does the knife wound sink so deep that the flesh begins to weep with love?
At first power, power, then the wound, and love, and love and fears, and the loss of the self, and the gift, and slavery. At first I ruled, loved less; then more, then slavery. Slavery to his image, his odor, the craving, the hunger, the thirst, the obsession.” - Anaïs Nin
L.A.-based badass. I'm an eager submissive and a black-belt feminist. This tends to end up with me thinking about the patriarchy while sucking cock. I'm also polyamorous, into social justice, and not afraid to call you on your bullshit.
30 Days of Kink
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